Do you hit your dog?

Of course you don’t hit your dog!

You wouldn’t be here in Brilliant Family Dog if you did!

But the thing is, you don’t need to actually hit someone for them to feel bad about you.

This is so for dogs as well as for people.

Different forms of punishment

So you may ignore your dog. Lots of “dog trainers” tell you to do that.

Now imagine how you’d feel if a loved one ignored you! Refused to speak to you!

🐕 Wouldn’t you creep and crawl inside?

🐕 Feel like a worm?

🐕 Wonder what you’ve done to upset them?

🐕 No idea how to put things right?

That’s just how your dog would feel!

I think that if I offended someone, I’d much rather they explained to me how I had done so, so that I could put it right in the future, and not repeat my mistake.

So you can do the exact same with your dog.

Just show him that what he did didn’t work. Ask him again, and when he gives the smallest hint of doing what you’d prefer, reward that - fast and fully!

Dogs are Doers. They are not Not-Doers.

Leaving your dog in a vacuum of silence will not help him understand one bit.

Old saws are not necessarily right!

There’s a saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

I couldn’t disagree more!

How someone feels about you is so important to you! If someone is unkind to you, or unfair, doesn’t that hurt? With real pain?

If they say harsh things, wag a finger, shout in your face, isn’t that frightening?

Your dog is the same!

Punishment rewards the punisher

You see, punishment rewards the punisher.

The only person who benefits is the person doing the punishing, in whatever form - whether hitting, shouting, abusing, belittling - they are the ones who get a gratifying feeling. Some even get a visceral thrill.

While punishment does little good to the one being punished.

Yes - it may temporarily suppress behaviour (just long enough for the so-called trainer to cash your cheque) - in the presence of the punisher. But it’s not going to stop it, because there is no CHOICE involved on the part of the victim.

Giving your dog, or child, or friend, or colleague, a choice in how they respond is critical for them to learn and want to repeat that choice.

Losing your temper

Yep! I put my hand up, along with the rest of the universe! We can all lose our temper, get frustrated, reach the end of our tether.

But if you give in to the moment and - even just yell at your dog - how does it make you feel?

Do you feel proud of yourself?

Or do you realise that you have just taken a chunk out of your relationship with your dog, which will have to be restored double-quick?

And what if children were watching? What have they learnt, about you, about how to manage people, how to manage animals?

What if another adult was watching? What do they now think of you? Do you like what they’re thinking?

Looking at things from an outside point of view can help us see more clearly what we are doing!

Yes, we can all have uncharacteristic outbursts. But before you justify yourself to yourself by saying the dog was driving you mad, was not listening, was being deliberately difficult - keep in mind that your dog is from another species. He doesn’t understand verbal language (he associates sounds, sure, but not as we do).

We are honoured to be able to forge an unbreakable bond with the dog in our care.

We are blessed to have this learning every day - of working out why creatures (people or dogs) do what they do, and how we can get them to fit in with our plans without any coercion, force, or intimidation.

Gobbledygook!

And if this all sounds like outer gobbledygook, do watch my free Workshop here . It shows you what may possibly be a new way to relate to your dog.

As this correspondent says:

“Your teaching is a revelation! Honestly I’ve spent 40 years doing what I thought was right. Now, as soon as my new puppy chooses to do something I want she gets a reward. I hope - thanks to you - I’m getting it more right than I used to.” JP

And that dog-owner had learnt all that from my books! Want to see what you can learn too? Head over to this page. And we can both benefit from you buying direct from the author (that's me!)

How long will it take to train my dog?

Hmm - how long is a piece of string?!

How long did it take to train your child, your spouse, yourself?

The answer is surely that the training never ends. It’s an ongoing daily process.

As we change, and as our dogs change, we need to modify and re-apply our teaching to accommodate the new situation.

Your child was pointing to letters when very small. Then they began to read words, then sentences, then - huzzah! - whole books!

But it didn’t stop there.

Once they could read a book for a six-year-old, they had to keep on learning, to be able to read a book for a twelve-year-old, a twenty-year-old, a university graduate, a PhD …

They had to learn how to read a book which needed careful study, and they also learned how to read a light beach-read. Both have their place, and both need a different approach. One that we develop with experience.

The learning never ends!

So will it take more than a week to grasp a new skill?

You bet!

And if you’re thinking about teaching your dog a new skill, have a heart.

• Do remember that they are from a different species.

• They do not have verbal communication.

• They see everything through the lens of “will this work for me?”

In the Brilliant Family Dog Academy, the lessons are laid out in weeks. This is not so that you can complete a week, sign off, and never re-visit that teaching!

Rather it’s to ensure that people work through the learning in the right order. The dog has to learn to “point to the letters” before he can read a book for a twelve-year-old!

A Quick Fix

Training your dog is not about finding a quick fix.

It’s about developing a bond between you that encompasses understanding, love, surprise, and mutual respect.

And that, as we know, takes a lifetime.

Want some help with building this unbreakable relationship? Watch our free Workshop on Getting your Dog to Listen, and you may be surprised how much this short video will teach you!

If you'd like a sneak peek at the lessons in the Brilliant Family Dog Academy check out this mini-course!

How safe is your dog’s walk?

There he was, taking his dog for a walk. His ear was glued firmly to his phone, and in his other hand was a ball launcher.

He hurled the tennis ball a good 80 yards where it landed amongst some other dog walkers he hadn’t noticed. His dog plunged to grab the ball - oblivious of the other dogs who fortunately stepped back - spun and hurtled back, dropping the ball panting, his sides heaving, at his owner’s feet.

And said owner carried on talking to his phone, so the dog barked and barked at him. Eventually he noticed, picked up the ball with the stick, and flung it again without looking, for the dog to race after - thereby building barking into the “exercise”.

THIS IS NOT A COMPANIONABLE WALK!

And while that owner came home with an exhausted dog who then left him in peace to talk on his phone all evening, it was also not good exercise.

There’s a catalogue of ailments that can come from repeated use of a ball-thrower. See what this frustrated Canine Physiotherapist wrote after treating pain in yet another dog with arthritis in wrists and feet due to repeatedly chasing balls launched from one of these pernicious gadgets:

“The repetitive strain of persistently chasing after the ball and jarring their front legs as they reach it, to pick it up causes horrendous damage to joints, ligaments, and muscles. This will eventually lead to osteoarthritis in your dog’s carpal, elbow and/or shoulder joints.

“Most dogs tend to always turn one way after they have caught the ball, so they will also have a pattern of tension and muscle over-development/tension down one side of their spine. This is not only very sore it is also predisposing them to Intervertebral Disc Disease (IVDD) – major surgery, which if they survive it is highly likely to leave them with some degree of paralysis.

“If your dog jumps up in the air to catch the ball, it’s highly likely to rupture it’s cruciate ligament(s); damage one or more discs in the back or tear or strain back muscle or the junctions with the spine with more movement ie sacroiliac or lumbosacral joints which will ultimately lead to Spondylosis, lumbosacral disease or nerve damage.”  Lisa Cleeton, Canine Physiotherapist:

And with my trainer hat on, I can tell you that this type of exercise is not building any bond with you whatever!

The dog becomes fixated on the ball. He is not experiencing his surroundings. He is not relating to them, to you, or to any other dogs or people he passes.

You are building an obsessional behaviour which can become disabling - and very annoying.

Furthermore, it’s a danger!  Another dog who has been made ball-mad and ball-possessive may well take exception to this intrusion.

Chucking the ball thoughtlessly into the midst of other dog walkers could end in a dramatic fight.

So why do people do it?

I often wonder!

Why dd they get a dog if all they want to do is prevent interaction with it?

Fact is, it’s a lazy option. They think that hurling a ball for a dog to chase to exhaustion is a dog walk.

What pleasure they are missing out on!

The beauty of the dog

Enjoying the beauty of our canine companions is a vital part of a dog walk. You’re enjoying this walk together!

Seeing your dogs explore, using their noses as well as their eyes, can open up the natural world for you.

And repeatedly rewarding check-ins and recalls, both prompted and spontaneous, will not only strengthen your bond together, but will give you a cracking recall which will work when you really need it.

So what else can I do on walks?

I enjoy playing frisbee with my dogs from time to time. By no means on every walk, and not for very long either. And it’s a great 5-minute break in the garden, giving pleasure to all of us. Each dog has his or her own frisbee, so we never run the risk of mid-flight collisions.

But first I taught each of them to catch the frisbee, right in front of me. And before I even did that, I learnt how to throw the frisbee myself, so it would float in the air over the dog so they can catch it as it falls, on the run with no “braking”, or they can leap through the air in a gentle arc to catch it and land safely on the ground.

When they bring it back to me, they need to hold it still so I can take it without my fingers being snapped off. Then we may do a bit of heelwork, or recall, or general impulse control and turn-taking. It’s very much a two-way conversation, playing with these frisbees!

Before I would consider taking the frisbees out with me, I check the state of the ground. Rock-hard summer ground, or frozen winter ground would both be contra-indicated. Though snow on the ground makes for nice soft landings!

For the frisbee itself, I choose soft silicone or fabric. Hard plastic can cause their mouths to bleed. Not fun.

And when we’ve had enough chasing, I tuck them into my walking belt and on we go.

Seek and you shall find

Another great dog walk activity is nosework of any kind. I’ll return to that another day to get you started!

How to teach Fetch!

And to learn how to get your dog to retrieve cleanly and happily, here is the definitive step-by-step book for you:

Fetch it! Teach your Brilliant Family Dog to catch, fetch, retrieve, find, and bring things back!

Here’s how it worked for Lexi and Erin!

Hi Beverley, 

I just wanted to share this little video with you of Lexi fetching. As you may remember, she had zero interest or idea what to do when a toy was thrown, and she was afraid of objects being thrown (she is still afraid of balls ...) but using what you lay out in your book, here she is! Fetching! And she has even started “asking” to play fetch.

Thank you so much for helping me figure out how to teach Lexi and giving us a new way to interact. :)  EM

Just before you start teaching Fetch, you will enjoy teaching these other games to your dog: video lessons that are easy to follow, and they work!

Is your new dog not as easy as your old dog?

Got a new puppy?

Exciting!

All your hopes for the perfect dog rest in this wide-eyed little ball of fluff!

And as soon as you get started with him, he fails.

But how on earth can an 8-week-old puppy be failing? 😱

He wees everywhere, he chews everything, he pulls on the lead, he keeps you awake and barks the house down when you leave …

This may all be true (HINT: it needn’t be! Your new puppy can be sleeping through the night from Day 1, never chew anything you don’t want him to, walk nicely on the lead, and be comfortable in your absence - start the Brilliant Family Dog program by watching this free Workshop)

So - maybe it’s true. But the reason you think your little puppy is failing, being difficult, challenging, awkward, time-consuming, and all the rest - is because you are comparing him with your previous dog!

Your old dog

Your old dog was perfect in every way.

Fitted your household like an old slipper.

• Never chewed anything

• Always asked if he needed to go out

• Walked nicely beside you and never ran off

• Slept like a log and greeted you happily when you came home.

And this too may be true.

But your old dog was 14 (or 12 or 17) when he died. He’d spent his whole life learning how to rub along with you.

And you’ve TOTALLY forgotten the anguish and trouble of his puppyhood!

You are seeing your lovely old pet through rose-tinted spectacles.

 Of course he took time to housetrain!

Of course he chewed things (whether they were things you wanted him to chew or things he stole is entirely down to your supervision at the time)

Of course he hauled you about on the lead (until you taught him different)

Of course the baby cried when you left him, till he learnt to trust you.

This is a NEW puppy

This is a NEW puppy. A NEW person. Yes, he’s a dog, and he may even be the same breed as your previous dog, but he is an individual.

And he needs to be treated and loved as an individual.

Not continually compared with the paragon which was your last dog in his last years.

For me, this is the joy of having a new puppy! A new person to get to know - his fears, his foibles, his character - what he enjoys, what he loves.

Your old dog was wonderful and your new dog will be wonderful too.

Just cut him some slack and learn with him and here’s that free Workshop where you can begin your journey with your new puppy:

Here’s a free Workshop to

get you started.

“Pandemic puppies” are now coming home to roost

Who do you know who became a first-time dog owner during lockdowns? There are about a million in the UK alone, according to evidence being given to a Commons (British Government) Select Committee investigating pet welfare and abuse.

Sadly, the huge demand for dogs when people were feeling lonely in the pandemic led to massive growth in the shadier sides of dog supply, from puppy farming to feed the demand for fashionable “designer dogs” (and there have been some high-profile shockers exposed recently, even in the dog training world) to the wholesale importation of random street dogs from other countries.

In both of these cases, the dogs are the ones who suffered most.

In the puppy farms the bitches and dogs suffer abuse and mistreatment. Along with their puppies they endure a deprived existence. What damage this does to the pups’ state of mind! What hope for them to become a well-adjusted adult dog?

The mass importation of any street-dog that can be netted and caught, mostly from East European countries with a poor reputation for animal treatment, leads to predictable problems of acclimatisation. Dogs who have known only fear and privation do not become perfect British pet dogs overnight!

But now the new owners are suffering!

Many of these first-time dog purchasers had done no homework. They had no idea about dog and puppy developmental stages, dog socialisation and habituation, suitable ways to rear a “normal” dog, and specialist ways to rehabilitate an abused or deprived dog.

They bought into the image of the perfect companion, apparently totally unaware that a dog can take from 18 to 36 months to mature and become anything resembling the finished article.

Many of these folk didn’t do what they should have been doing for their new dog, and this has naturally resulted in problem behaviours in some dogs - anything from separation anxiety to aggressive behaviour, not to mention incomplete housetraining, inappropriate playbiting, hauling them about on the lead, and zero recall.

So it’s no surprise that now people have gone back to work and are no longer lonely, the shelters are bulging with abandoned dogs.

Get a vet check!

One of those giving evidence, Dr. Gaines of the RSPCA, advised “anyone who had seen sudden behaviour changes in their dog to go to a vet, who will be able to rule out any medical causes.

“If the dog gets a clean bill of health, the owner should then seek help from an animal behaviour specialist, preferably one that is a member of the Animal Behaviour and Training Council.” (I’m a member of the ABTC.)

Note that Dr. Gaines does not want you to get behaviour modification advice or training from your vet! Their skills lie elsewhere. It’s a qualified trainer you need!

One of the problems with these pandemic puppies is that prices sky-rocketed due to the headlong rush to grab a dog - any dog - so that as well as getting a poor specimen in many cases, people had no money left for veterinary care or learning how to get the best out of their life with their dog, aka dog training.

Shady practices

Dealing with these heartless people who view dogs as commodities, simply there to make them money for the least amount of effort, is gradually being addressed by the lawmakers.

Puppy farming is a loathsome practice, and results only in distress for the “products” (dogs) and the “consumers” (people).

Capturing feral dogs and transporting them in large numbers across Europe in the back of a van is equally as abhorrent. Many dog trainers earn a lot of their (usually modest) incomes from trying to rehabilitate these unfortunate victims of the demand for dogs.

Dogs can actually learn all through their lives - though the worse the start the harder the change can be to accomplish. But never give up hope! There are wonderful kind and dog-friendly ways to help your dog cope with our strange world.

So where can I get a dog?

You can go to a proper breeder and get a puppy that has been reared with knowledge and with love. This normally means someone who breeds only when they want to keep a puppy themselves. Not someone with sheds full of random bitches kept in the dark.

Remember that in the UK Lucy’s Law requires that the mother should be seen with the puppies. Lots of dog greeders will come up with any excuse for not doing this - along with many other tricks of the trade - and some will park any old dog with the pups in order to deceive. You really do need advice from an experienced dog-person! Here’s an article to help you weave your way through the maze.

The shelters are bulging with rejected dogs right now, and yes, many of them will be foreign imports, so if you’re desperate for some reason to adopt a street-dog or a so-called designer dog, you can still do so without encouraging this dodgy trade.

Need a bit of help?

And if you’re having trouble with your dog, whether a pandemic puppy or not, we can help you! There are over 300 articles here at www.brilliantfamilydog.com and we have free workshops, masterclasses, email courses, books, and guides, along with low-cost online programs and books. Have a look at the menu at the top of this page to see them all.

There’s no need to miss out on getting a great life with your chosen pet, however inauspicious the start!

Here’s a free Workshop to get you started.

Work with the dog you’ve got .. Not the one you thought you were getting!

I can’t tell you how many times people tell me that their new dog doesn’t measure up to their old dog.

Sometimes they’re comparing their new puppy with a devoted and much-loved pet who died aged 15, having spent his last few years in a quiet retirement.

He fitted their family like an old shoe.

And, unaccountably, they expect the new puppy to take up where the old dog left off, complete with the lifetime’s learning.

When you look at it, you can see how daft this is!

But we seldom look at things this clearly.

We so enjoyed life with the old dog that we’d like to carry it on uninterrupted.

And when you step back and reflect, you can see clearly that this is an unrealistic expectation to place on the newcomer’s shoulders.

But it doesn’t seem to stop us doing it!

Hidden standards for our dogs

There’s also the fact that you get your dog with a vision of your future together.

🐾 This may include an active dog sport … and your dog turns out to have bad hips and can’t compete.

 🐾 It may be long tramps over hill and moor … and you got a lapdog who is quite unsuited to this.

🐾 Or it may be that you enjoy social activities with friends and their dogs .. and your dog is of a nervous and timorous disposition and does not enjoy these outings one bit.

Reality check!

The thing is, you have to work with the dog in front of you, not the one you wish you had! 

You can never turn an apple into an orange, however hard you try.

And you can’t change your dog’s intrinsic nature. That is doomed to failure.

You can certainly teach him, and improve things - dramatically!

But he’s still who he is.

And accepting this is the only way forward.

“But all my dogs love xyz!”

That doesn’t mean that this one will - or indeed should!

How many times do you see children in the same family - same parents, same school, same ethos, same upbringing - but who are polar opposites in character?

You can have all the nature vs nurture discussions you like, but when it comes down to it, your dog (or child) is who he is, and the sooner you accept that and discard your rose-spectacled vision of who you thought he should be, the better!

Enjoy the journey!

And part of living with another creature is finding out what makes them tick. What they like. What they don’t like. How to please them, and how not to upset them. 

Judging your dog will never help!

Your new dog will never measure up to the memory of your old dog.

Don’t set him a target he can never reach.

Instead, rejoice in his individuality and work with the dog who’s right there, in front of you (or on your lap).

That’s the way to find true harmony with your new dog.

Need a bit of help with a Growly Dog? Watch our free Masterclass and talk to us in the chat about your particular issues with your dog.

We’d love to help you make the changes you’re looking for.