Free Live 5 Day Workshop for your *Growly* but Brilliant Family Dog

I can honestly say I’m blown away by the response to my invitation to a free Live 5 Day Workshop for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog. 

Well over a thousand people have registered, and most of them are busy introducing themselves and making friends in the private forum.

I decided to offer this week of free training because I see so many people struggling with difficult dogs. They love their dog and they often have no idea why she’s acting so awkward when out and about.

This isn’t helped when it’s a rescue dog with little back-up from the people who homed the dog with them. If you’re new to owning a dog, a rescue dog with a traumatic past is not necessarily the best introduction to this exciting and privileged new world of interacting with another species! 

There is so much misinformation about - from describing the dog as “dominant”, “stubborn”, “obstinate”, or even “he’s doing it to annoy you”. There are many self-proclaimed experts about who say “he just needs to learn his place”, “you need to be harder on him”, or “you need to use this or that (nasty) gadget to get results,” showing you something that wouldn’t have found house-room in The Inquisition.

So don’t flounder about wondering who to listen to.

Listen to your own instincts.

If it’s suggested you do something nasty to the dog in your care - whom you love! - follow your heart and firmly say “No”. We don’t need to beat or punish our children, and we don’t need to do it to the animals we choose to give a home to either. 

But he does seem stubborn!

Want to know what your dog really thinks? He’s not stubborn - he’s afraid. Afraid to go forwards, afraid to incur your displeasure, afraid of the world. But it’s fear, not stubbornness. Or dominance, or any of that other nonsense put about by people who are talking through their hats.

This post may help you with all of that.

If you feel tempted to describe your dog in a negative way, try looking at it from another angle. Instead of labelling him as difficult, stubborn, whatever ... try fears, is anxious, worries ...

And you may be surprised to know that it’s not so much months of hands-on training that will change your shy, reactive, anxious, aggressive - growly - dog into the companion you want. A lot of it is in your own head!

Have a look at this recent email from a reader:

“Firstly thank you for your wonderful book, it has really helped me understand the reason why my little girl Bess reacts the way she does.

Just by reading your first growly dog book, I have realised that she is terrified of strangers. We are working on the steps and I am slowly seeing huge improvement.”

Now it was Bess’s owner who changed her view and got success. Bess didn’t have to change at all!

A simple change in your own outlook and behaviour can have marvellous results in the way your dog responds.

And that’s what people are learning in this Workshop!

As Karen said:

"One of the best things I have done, the workshop taught me so much."

How do I get in on this?

Come and join our free 5 Day Video Workshop and learn. There were well over a thousand people from all round the world already happily meeting, encouraging and enthusing each other in the private group. Friendships were made that will last. 

What do they have in common? A desire to make life with their difficult dog better without doing anything nasty. At all. They all understand how alone you can be, and people are already feeling less isolated with their dog.

While the Workshop is specifically geared for those of you with reactive, anxious, fearful, aggressive - Growly! - dogs, in fact anyone will learn a lot about how to build a relationship with their dog. And they’ll also have a lot more empathy for the Growly Dog owner who they may have disdained previously as being inadequate and unable to control their dog.

As you’ll discover, it’s not about control!

Start the change with your reactive, anxious, aggressive - Growly - dog with our free Masterclass packed with ideas and strategies, all force-free

UPDATE:

This Workshop is now over, but look! Here’s a free Masterclass for you to enjoy - plenty of lessons to get started with straight away ...

Social Butterflies versus Wallflowers - over-friendly dogs vs. shy dogs

“Go on. Go and say hello to Aunt Ermintrude. Give her a kiss. Go ON!” 

This last would have been accompanied by a sharp prod between the shoulderblades to propel you forward.

Can you remember this happening to you when you were a small child? You wriggled and squirmed and really didn’t want to have anything to do with this towering, bearded, overpowering aunt.

But if you’d been left to your own devices, curiosity would eventually have got the better of you and you would have started to engage with this strange, mountainous, figure.

So is it with many dogs. 

Some are bouncy, in-your-face, love-everybody, kind of dogs - not in the least bothered by the Aunt Ermintrudes of this world. But many more are quiet, retiring, worried about anything new. The key to this is to strike a balance

The Social Butterflies need to learn a little restraint and thoughtfulness, lest they leap up on the wrong dog and get bitten or terrorised. Or of course they may leap on a shy and worried dog who will think in terror that her last hour has come.

The Wallflowers must be allowed to be Wallflowers! If you give them time to assess from a safe distance, they will gradually start to explore nearer, on their own terms.

The funny thing is that we always seem to want the opposite of what we have! Those with the demented jumper-upper wish they had a calmer dog - continually snapping “Get down!” to their poor dog, who thinks that perhaps he needs to jump higher in order to please his owner. While those with a mouse-impersonator wish they had something more outgoing, and feel as if the world thinks they beat their dog. 

We always want to fit in with society’s view of being able to produce the perfect dog, without necessarily heeding what our dog has to say about it all.

 

Aren’t all dogs friendly?

This commonly accepted thought completely ignores the fact that dogs are all different! They are individuals, just as we are. Their breeding will influence their behaviour, but there’s huge variation within breeds and types. And we’ve all learnt - through the notorious breed-specific legislation - that you cannot tar all dogs of one breed with the same brush.

Because people notice the exuberant dog more than the shy one, they think that’s the norm. You can’t help but notice the bouncy Labrador with his tail thumping your legs (but there are many quiet, shy Labradors too). Or the half-crazed Poodle who thinks everyone must love him (Coco Poodle? Are you listening?). But In fact the quieter response is the more common one - and probably much better for survival in the wild situation that dogs were evolved in. 

Just because some dogs are in-your-face dogs doesn’t mean that this is how all dogs should be.

And what about responsibility for other people’s dogs?

Let’s say you have one of the bouncy dogs who thinks the world is his oyster and wants to greet everyone. Now imagine that instead you have one of the shy, retiring dogs. Maybe your dog desires only to be left alone, to have peace and quiet to enjoy her walk without interference. Your shy dog could be enjoying a tremendous game with you and your frisbee or ball, and the last thing she wants is someone muscling in on her prize. 

How would it be if you were enjoying a makeshift game of badminton with your family in your local park, and a load of louts came barging in, snatching the shuttlecock, knocking your children over and treading on them, wrecking your game - with their parents laughing at their antics all the while. Nice? I don’t think so.

So if your dog is the super-friendly one, don’t let him rampage all over the place, upsetting calmer, quieter, perhaps older, dogs.

It can take a shy dog several days to recover from an experience like this - really! They may have to stay indoors for days to allow their hormones to settle back down - just as you might if you were in a mild car shunt. It could be a few days before you were happy to get behind the wheel again. This dog’s owner may be upset and begging you to put your unruly dog on a lead. This request, sadly, is often greeted with derision and insults. 

Many owners of boisterous dogs assume that their dog’s behaviour is not only natural, but acceptable.

I’m here to tell you it’s not!

These owners seem to think they have more right to be out walking their dog than others with more challenging dogs. They form this opinion, I believe, because sometimes their unruly dog is greeted by a show of teeth and snarling from the other dog. They assume that this dog must be nasty - aggressive - and therefore to blame for whatever happens. They forget that that dog was quietly minding her own business until their dog landed on top of her! 

Sadly, this usually gives rise to more insults and abuse.

It doesn’t take much imagination to transfer this scene to a school playground. Some children will be playing happily together while others cruise the playground looking for entertainment - often found by annoying the quieter children. Of course, playgrounds are carefully “policed” by school staff, and unacceptable behaviour should be halted immediately, so that the boisterous children can learn some social skills, learn how to treat other people respectfully, and the quieter children can enjoy their quieter life. 

The school playground is like the park

Is this chase enjoyable for both dogs?

We don’t have school staff in the park. We’re meant to be grown up enough to manage this ourselves. I know it comes as a surprise to many of the “My dog is friendly” persuasion to learn that many other dogs are not. They are instead nervous, anxious, possibly recovering from an unsolicited attack which - unsurprisingly - has made them suspicious of all dogs. Or they may simply by diffident and self-contained, and not disposed to talk to strangers.

And some of these bouncy-dog owners will be genuinely astonished to learn this! But once you have learnt it, let it inform your dealings with other dog-owners and their dogs. It’s not a dog’s fault if he was attacked. It probably wasn’t his owner’s fault either, but it can have a lasting effect on the victim. It’s equally not a dog’s fault if he was not properly socialised as a puppy, and if he was adopted after puppyhood it’s not his owner’s fault either. 

Most people are decent and honest (in my experience), and they really wouldn’t want to see a child hurt or humiliated by another child’s actions. All they need to do is realise that dogs are as different in temperament as children are, and that some sensitive ones can be seriously upset by another dog-owner’s thoughtlessness.

The quiet, shy dog doesn’t care whether the boisterous dog has good intentions or not. It doesn’t matter if “He just wants to play,” or whether he is intent on tearing the other dog’s throat out. The effect of the confrontation can be the same - causing the anxious dog to get more withdrawn, or - as can often happen - become proactive at keeping other dogs away by putting on a tremendous display of aggression.

How can I help my dog?

So watch your puppy or new dog carefully. Whether extrovert or introvert, be sure to protect them from bad experiences. Allow your boisterous pup to express himself in a way which suits him, while gently teaching him what we would prefer.

And let your quiet observer quietly observe. From behind your legs if that’s where she feels comfortable. When she’s ready, she’ll be able to take much more in her stride.

And whether you’re the owner of the over-friendly dog or the shy and anxious dog, you’ll find great help in this free email course:

Get your first Growly Lesson!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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The isolation of the Growly Dog owner - 9 ways to change it all

• Does everyone else seem to walk a calm, quiet dog?

• Do you watch with envy as people walk their “good” dogs without a thought?

• Do you wish you could go anywhere with your dog and not be embarrassed by her antics?

• Do you feel a “useless dog-owner” because your dog doesn’t behave as people seem to expect her to?

• Would you really like a trouble-free dog who you need do nothing with?

I tell you - we are the lucky ones. Those of us who have difficult dogs, growly dogs, aggressive dogs, shy, fearful, anxious dogs - we are the lucky ones. In learning about dogs, their language, their behaviour, we will gain huge insights into dogs in general, our own dog in particular, and the huge gap between what most humans think and what is actually true about dogs.

I feel so alone with this dog

Rest assured, you are not alone! There are many people around with dogs they struggle with. 

• Some of them walk only at The Hour of the Difficult Dog, flitting furtively about like bats in the dark when they’re unlikely to meet another dog, or person, or cyclist .. or whatever it is that sets their dog off.

• Some of them have given up and don’t ever walk their dog at all. And if it keeps them all happy, this is a good thing.

• But there are plenty more who accept that this is the dog they have - not the one they hoped for - and they do their best to help their troubled dog.

Because a troubled dog is what you have. No, it’s not necessarily your fault (though you may have made mistakes along the way - as we all do - that has made it worse). But your dog is troubled all the same. Don’t fret over past mistakes, or wrong advice followed - start from where you are now.

You began with a puppy

However carefully you may have covered the socialisation, familiarisation, and habituation for your puppy up to the age of 14 weeks, something may have happened later (a car crash, a dog-attack, an explosion …) to make him reactive. Or it may just be the way he is. Guarding breeds in particular are bred to be alert to every movement and sound, and … despatch it! And herding breeds have extra sensitive hearing.

Possible complications with a rescue dog

Smidge in her safe place

It may be that you wanted to give an unwanted dog a home, and that is indeed a very good and laudable motive. But the dog you chose may have arrived with baggage from its previous life which you now have to deal with. What confuses some new rescue-dog-owners is that their dog seemed “fine” when he first arrived, and it was only a month or two later that he “became aggressive.”

There are two issues here. 

1. It’s not aggression, it’s usually fear. More below.

2. It can take 2-3 months for a dog to settle in his new home.

Before that he may be shut down and quiet, nervous of putting a paw wrong. Just like you would be if you moved into my house - it would be “Where does this cup go?” and “Is it alright if I sit here?” After a couple of months you’d have your feet on the table and be leaving cups all over the place! You’ve settled in and are behaving naturally. So that’s what your dog is doing - settling in and behaving naturally.

So why has my dog become aggressive?

This isn’t really the right question. “Being aggressive” is the interpretation you have put on her behaviour. What you want to look at is

• why your dog does what she does,

• when she does it, and

• what you can do to change things so she doesn’t have to do it any more.

If something frightening approaches you, you have two choices - fight, or flee. If you are attached to someone else you are unable to flee, so you’re left with fight. So it is with your dog, who is on lead and unable to make the choice to scram. 

You (like your dog) may really not want to fight. Fighting is dangerous, can escalate quickly, and can maim or kill. So you’d probably use your voice first to try to keep the dangerous thing away: “Get away! Leave me alone! I’ve got a knife!” 

And your dog does the same: “Look! I’m ferocious! Keep away! You’ll get bitten!” and he does this by leaping about, raising his hackles, making himself look as big and tall as possible, swishing his tail up in the air, growling, snarling, and barking. 

Very often, this works for your dog. Either the other dog backs off, the other dog’s owner takes him away, or you - in your confusion and embarrassment - haul your dog away, quite possibly joining in with the barking by “barking” yourself.

Now you are upset, your dog is upset, (maybe the other owner is upset, but they may perhaps learn not to walk their dog straight at strange dogs in the future) and your walk has become a sorry mess.

Get your free email course here and get going with your new life!

Get your first Growly Lesson!

THIS E-COURSE IS A BONUS FOR YOU WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO RECEIVE EDUCATIONAL EMAILS AND OCCASIONAL OFFERS FROM ME. YOU CAN UNSUBSCRIBE AT ANY TIME.
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When you got your dog you envisaged happy walks in field and forest, you thinking about birds and poetry and sunshine, and your dog trotting at your heels, keeping you company. Or maybe you’re the social type who foresaw walks with other dog-owning friends, days at the beach with the family, visits to cafes to chat, your dog being admired for her good behaviour. 

Instead, you’ve got this maniac that makes walks a misery. 

And no doggy friends for you.

All is not lost! You can start making changes with your dog right away!

So instead of retiring hurt and licking your wounds, have a look at what you can do to change things right now.

1. Give your dog a total break from walks for 3-7 days. If every outing is as stressful as I described above, you’ll both welcome the chance to chill and resurrect your fun relationship together.

2. Be sure you are not using any aversive dog equipment (broadly speaking, you want to have your dog on a comfy harness with a double-ended lead attached at front and back). 

3. If you’re afraid your dog may bite, muzzle-train him slowly so he loves his muzzle. This will relax you enormously. Extra benefit: you’ll find this helps to keep people away.

4. Choose quiet places to walk him where you’re unlikely to meet his “triggers” (the things that set him off)

5. Look into hiring a private dog walking field near you - fantastic resource for the growly dog owner!

6. Seek out a force-free trainer to help you. Any use of aversive equipment, or training by intimidation and control will work against you and make your dog worse. You have been warned! I am frequently helping people whose dogs have been made worse by one of these so-called “trainers”.

7. Start learning about dogs, their behaviour, and - very importantly - their body language, which is sophisticated and as clear as day, once you can “speak” it. Beware the gaping maw of the internet, which can take you down many rabbit-holes! Find a force-free trainer and study their reading list.

8. Find out what your dog actually loves doing. This could range from lounging on the sofa with you, to playing Hunt the Toy in the garden, hide and seek with the children in the house, performing tricks, helping you about the house with tidying up … Look at what she’s telling you she likes!

9. Know that you are not a “useless dog-owner”. You have simply found yourself presented with a problem you didn’t know how to solve. But you do now! Onward and upward.

And, as I said above - we are the lucky ones. Those of us who have difficult dogs, growly dogs, aggressive dogs, shy, fearful, anxious dogs - we are the lucky ones.

For in our efforts to help our dog fit into our world, we will build a bond with our dog that can never be broken.

Start your new direction with this free email course that will take you through the steps for change - all force-free, of course, without intimidation or nasty gadgets.

Then hop over to take a look at the new online course that will take from where you are now to where you want to be with your dog.

Resources:

1. Watch our free Masterclass to change life with your Growly Dog

2. Online courses

3. 2Hounds Freedom harness

4. www.brilliantfamilydog.com/books

5. www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-dogs

6. www.xtra.dog 

7. www.muzzleupproject.com 

8. www.sue-eh.ca

9. www.controlunleashed.net 

10. www.grishastewart.com/cbati-directory

11. www.apbc.org.uk/help/regions  

12. www.apdt.co.uk/dog-owners/local-dog-trainers 

13. www.petprofessionalguild.com/find-a-ppg-professional

14. www.karenpryoracademy.com/find-a-trainer 

15. www.imdt.uk.com/find-a-qualified-imdt-trainer

16. www.ccpdt.org/dog-owners/certified-dog-trainer-directory