Keep your Growly Dog at home!

Over here in England we are having one of our rare snow attacks. They’re sufficiently unusual to bring everything to a stop. It’s simply not realistic to spend the necessary money to alter the infrastructure for just a few days a year, as is the norm in countries where snow is a commonplace.

It’s very cold, the roads and paths are icy, there’s a biting wind … All in all, it’s keeping people at home.

And this is the perfect opportunity for you to give your Growly Dog a break!

Either you venture out into the freezing weather and enjoy the solitude, or you simply stay home and let your dog romp around the garden, dancing in the snow.

A Cortisol Holiday

Did you know that once hormone levels are raised in a fight-or-flight response, that it can take three whole days for them to go down again?

That’s one of those actual, indisputable, scientific facts I come out with from time to time!

This means that when your anxious, reactive - Growly - dog has an unpleasant incident when out and about, you should cut home straight away and stay there!

For three days.

What can you do during those days?

• Well, how about some games? I give you loads in our Academy

• How about some scent activities? Just hiding a sock to start with!

• How about some tricks? Tricks are such fun to teach and to learn! Plenty of those in the Academy too.

• And how about some R & R? Just chill with your lovely dog. If there’s been an upsetting incident on a walk, your hormones will be whizzing around too!

Remember what you love about your dog, why you got him in the first place. Enjoy his furry, comforting presence.

Walks can happen another day. Your bond with your dog can be growing all the time!

Exercise?

This is the point where people start to panic, and say, “My dog will go up the wall if I don’t take him out at least 1/2/3 times a day!”

The last time I suggested this course of action on a Workshop I was giving to several thousand people, there were many who said this.

Some flatly refused. Their minds were totally made up and they weren’t going to take any risks by trying something new!

But those who grudgingly agreed to try it (along with all those who were very happy to hear a new idea) were astonished by the results:

◆          They found that they enjoyed the “extra” time with their dog.

◆          Their dog slept much, much, more than they expected.

◆          Life grew calmer.

◆          They loved their dog again!

And when the three days were up, they were able to venture out again on much calmer walks.

And no, their dog didn’t get fat. If weight gain is a problem for your dog, you may have to reduce his meals slightly for those three days. But you should be able to play active games - even without a garden - that will use up some of his calories.

And, of course, brain work is much more tiring than walking. Trying some of the new activities with your dog that I suggest above, will result in new learning: and that will certainly use up calories!

So take advantage of our wintry weather and keep your Growly Dog at home.

And always do that after something bad has happened. You’ll find the results eye-opening.

For a free e-course to help you with your reactive dog, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

Dog Body Language - what’s that?

We’re all pretty fluent in human body language. We know when someone’s giving us the cold shoulder, looking quizzically, folding their arms to form a barrier showing resistance to what we’re saying. It’s all part of our rich communication skills.

But what if we had no speech? What if this were the only way we could communicate?

That’s where dogs find themselves!

Your puppy arrives with you, a few weeks old, with little idea what these great lumbering creatures of another species are doing with him.

He has no idea how to communicate!

So he’ll try barking; flattening himself on the floor; running away; jumping up; trying to play inappropriately (e.g. with your trouserlegs). Eventually, if all he gets is shouting or punishment*** in response, he’ll resort to snarling. This means he’s frightened of you! He may feel he needs to get in first with a snap in order to stop you doing whatever it is you’re doing. 

*** By “punishment” I’m not suggesting you’re beating your dog with a stick! Punishment means anything that is unpleasant - so it could be ignoring, yelling, confiscation, banishment, pushing or pulling ..

Sometimes, the puppy has found this is the only way to get attention from you.

This is a sad state of affairs, and one which many new puppy-owners find themselves in. They mistakenly think they need to discipline their puppy.

Do you discipline a newborn baby? Of course you don’t! You lavish her with love and affection, studying her all the time to find out her needs and wishes.

Disciplining a puppy is confrontational. That is not what you want with anyone you’re trying to build a relationship with.

So this is where the sensitive owner needs to step in and make it clear what communication works and what doesn’t.

Get the basics down first

The first thing to do is establish some basics:

1. A proper housetraining program is in operation. Get your free Cheatsheet for Errorless Housetraining here

2. Your puppy is getting all the sleep he needs, in a dedicated place where he cannot be disturbed.

3. YOU are getting all the sleep YOU need!

4. Your puppy is getting high-quality food in sufficient quantity at the right amount for his age

It always amazes me how many new dog-owners have no idea about these points. But if they aren’t met, you have little hope with the next part!

Sensitivity and understanding

Now you need to watch your dog like a scientist would.

🐾 What is he doing when?

🐾 Why is he doing it?

Take your personal feelings right out of the equation. This is not about you! It’s about a tiny creature of another species, who has found himself in a strange new world with people who don’t seem to understand him.

So if he does something you don’t like, don’t take it personally! Ask yourself what the reason may be for this.

 A. Is he overtired? (HINT: this is normally the first reason for puppy “misbehaviour”, just as it is for toddlers.)

B. Is he hungry?

C. Is he bored?

D. Is this the fastest way for him to get your attention?

E. Are you telling him off for breaking some rule he does not know exists?

Start learning exactly what is going on, how your puppy is acting just before he does the thing you don’t want, then look for a way to change this without punishment, force, intimidation, or shouting.

Just as with that toddler, usually all that’s needed is to attend to one of the basics listed above. Once all those boxes are ticked, you can move on to distracting him with something interesting (movement, food, toy, outside) and teaching him how to play the way you’d like it - with toys and not your hands.

So what’s with the Dog Body Language?

To help you understand exactly what you are seeing - as you watch your puppy as a scientist would - have a look at this video which gives you a quick guide to how dogs express themselves.

So often people misunderstand what their dog is saying! They anthropomorphise their actions, ascribing motives where there are none.

Honestly, dogs just want a comfy billet and a quiet life. Is that what your new dog is getting with you?

Want to learn how to get your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop!

Why Did My Dog’s Reactivity Get Worse, When I’m Trying My Best?

First published on positively.com and reprinted here with permission

Does your reactive dog seem to be getting worse?

More fearful, anxious, or aggressive - not less?

There are a few key strategies you can put in place very easily that will make a dramatic difference to how your dog perceives the world.

Here’s an excerpt from my three books on Growly Dogs - Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog

This is Chapter 5 from the first book Why is my dog so growly? It’ll get you started on the road to change.

Chapter 5: Why did it get worse, when I’m trying my best?

It will get worse - unless dealt with

There are some things that dogs do that will go away on their own. Some puppy behaviours, like chewing, submission-weeing, digging, will simply evaporate if carefully managed. But there are other things - usually the things we really don’t want! - that will build and build, getting worse and worse, until we decide to act.

When we do something for the first time, a neural pathway in the brain is built. To begin with this pathway is fairly narrow and hard to find. Think, learning to drive a car - it’s all foreign to us and hard to remember the sequences. But the more we repeat that thing, the wider and brighter the neural pathway becomes until we can just slide down it without a thought. It becomes our go-to response. We can drive on auto-pilot!

So every time your dog does something, he’s building those neural pathways bigger and stronger. He doesn’t have to think hard, as the learner-driver would to locate which pedal to press. It becomes his automatic, instant, response. In the case of our reactive dog: “See dog: bark!”

While this all started as a fear response, it’s now become a habit as well. So while we change the fear response, we will also be teaching new and better habits.

It works for the dog 

If there’s something that’s frightening you, your first instinct is to get away from it. If you can’t get away from it, you’ll try to get it away from you. Hence some manic responses to a wasp in the house!

When your dog puts on a song and dance routine of barking, whining, lunging, and prancing, at the sight of another dog, he’s trying to get it to go away.

And this often works! Either

• the other dog is frightened off and moves away

• the other dog’s owner thinks “this is a nasty dog” and turns away, 

  OR

• the barking dog’s owner is shamed into beating a hasty retreat

If it works, he’ll keep doing it. Because he has no other course of action to rely on. 

Fight or Flight

This well-known expression really comes into its own with the reactive dog. It’s the reason many people think their dog is “fine” off-lead, but turns into a monster on-lead. As we saw in Chapter 1, this dog is usually not as “fine” as people think. It’s only because the off-lead dog has the freedom to move away (flight) that things don’t go badly wrong.

Once your dog is tethered to you, however, he knows he can’t flee, so this leaves only fight. This can all be made worse by the fact that he’s unable to express his body language and calming signals. It’s difficult to look nonchalant and relaxed if your head is being held up in the air.

Trapped in a tunnel!

This feeling of being restrained or trapped can also be made worse by being in a “tunnel”. This is the stuff of nightmares for many people: ahead is an all-consuming fire, behind is a crush of people and cars - panic!

For your dog this tunnel could be made up of walls and hedges and parked cars, as on a street pavement, or can be a real tunnel of a narrow footpath with walls and trees either side. Even being 10 yards from a field barrier - trees, or a hedge - can prompt the fight reflex, as the flight option is limited.

And what does the owner bring to this party?

Sadly, we often make this all far, far worse.

I know we don’t want to, and we think we’re doing everything we can to stop it. But we do tend to add fuel to the fire.

If you’re like 99% of reactive dog owners, you’ll be in a continuous state of shock and apprehension when out with your dog - just waiting for something to kick off. So you wind the lead round your hand a few times, just to be sure, to be sure. You keep your dog on a tight lead, close to you - as if creeping through enemy territory and waiting for mines to start exploding any moment.

And the second you spot another dog - BANG! Off goes the first mine. You gasp and breathe in sharply, you go trembly and flustery, you tighten that lead even further, gripping it to your chest. “Oh no!” says your dog, “What’s she so afraid of? What have I got to bark at?”

Your understandable fear and anxiety over your dog is now triggering your dog’s outburst. 

A loose cannon

It may be that, up to now, you’ve really had little understanding of why your dog behaves as she does. You know all too well how she behaves! It seems to you that she is unpredictable. She’s lovely at home, so why does she put on this other persona when out?

You’ve come to distrust your friend. 

And this feeling of unease, distrust, panic, seeps into even the calmest of walks. Your dog is now on her toes! If you’re afraid, then there must be something bad out there. Your dog will work hard to locate it and try and keep it away.

How stressful a pleasant walk with your dog has become!

This is no fun for either of you, and this is what we are going to change. But wait, there’s more you need to know first.

A social pariah

Maybe you’ve found that the only way out of this nightmare is to walk your dog at 5 in the morning, or at dead of night - at The Hour of the Difficult Dog. The only people you see are other owners of difficult dogs, who will scurry away like rats in the sunlight as soon as they spot you.

You have now become a social pariah. When you first got your dog, you had happy visions of companionable walks with friends and their dogs. What has happened? Walks have now become a chore. There’s no fun here for either you or your dog.

You know that what you’ve been doing up to now is not working. So here’s a complete turnaround for you - and you’ll be quite amazed at the difference it will make!

ACTION STEP 4

As soon as you spot another dog,

1. Relax

2. Soften your hands on the lead, keeping it loose


3. Breathe out


4. Say cheerily to your dog, “Let’s go!” while you turn and head the other direction

I can hear your protests already! Just try it. We’ll address problems and fallout later.

To read more, go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly-boxset where you’ll find all three books in ebook and paperback and a box-set of all of them at once.

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

"

Permission for Dog Training

Whose permission do you have to get to train your dog? 

NOBODY’S!!

🐾 You don't have to get permission from anybody to know how to look after your dog

🐾    You don't need my permission - and you certainly don't need some other dog trainer’s permission! 

You need to rely on what you know is right, what you feel is right. It's your integrity that counts in the end.

You KNOW what is the right way to treat other people. And so you KNOW what is the right way to treat animals in your care. 

Self-styled experts

There are, sadly, many so-called “dog trainers” who will tell you to do things that go against what you know to be right. They bamboozle you into thinking they know best, that your feelings are not important.

So many times people tell me that they were shamed into doing things with their dogs that they now deeply regret. It’s easy to understand how they were duped. They looked for professional help and sadly this is what happened to them. They were made to appear foolish and weak.

But the fact that they are now writing to me to thank me for turning their lives around and showing them a better way means that they have moved on! They no longer have to feel bad about something that happened in the past.

Here’s an excerpt from a long story sent to me by a reader of my Growly Dog Books (Essential Skills for your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog)

“I was told I wasn’t any good at helping my dog as I wasn’t winning respect with a firm voice (by this, our male trainer meant shouting) or not acting animated enough. I was told to condition her with punishment and when it failed, use pet corrector (spray) for reactivity, but my poor dog was just so terrified she shut down with the trainer (regrettably, and only thanks to you, I only know now that was her shutting down).

“On top of it, we were told to go out to the busiest road we can find and walk up and down it twice daily to expose her. As you can imagine, our dog got even more reactive afterwards. … I was pretty frightened of the trainer myself. He used to use us to show what not to do in front of a whole class; naturally, we were isolated in the class, with no one talking to us and poor our dog barking mad (literally!).

“My confidence level was pretty low then but I am so glad we stood by our dog until we found you. … We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable. …

“I love the simplicity of being able to reward behaviour just because I like it. I feel so at ease and myself, not being told to shout or act crazy happy, which isn’t my natural temperament. Your books have shown me how to channel my instinctive mental states and behaviour to her in a helpful way.

“I feel guilty and ashamed to look back what I allowed both myself and our dog to go through with the other trainer. But the main thing is we are building a new relationship with her now. I am truly grateful.”  MR

I am so happy that this reader was ready to keep looking for the right help. She knew, deep down, that what was happening was WRONG. She found my books and discovered a new way of being with her dog that fitted her belief system.  

You can only act with the information available to you at the time. That’s why it’s so important to keep learning daily! To look forward with happy anticipation, not look back with regret. I spend a lot of money (many thousands of pounds annually) on increasing my knowledge and abilities, on an ongoing basis. Never stop learning!

“We are forming a whole new level of bond that feels unbreakable”

For me, this says it all. What’s it all about if you don’t enjoy the dog you got to be your companion? What’s life for if not to enjoy?

So don't go around looking for permission, or saying “I didn't know I could do that!” Find out what you need to do to make your dog happy

and just do that.

That way you can’t go wrong!

Want to make a start by getting your dog to LISTEN?

Watch our free Workshop and start the transformation that MR enjoyed!

CAN MY DOG BE STRESSED? - PART 3

This post was first published on positively.com and is reprinted here with permission.

Here is the third excerpt from my book - Building Confidence in your Growly but Brilliant Family Dog - which points out an area which will be affecting your dog much more than you may imagine. You may want to read the first and second parts of this series first: Can My Dog Be Stressed? - Part 1 and Can My Dog Be Stressed? Part 2 

While you’re doing your best to improve the situation and you take a look at what may be making things worse, you cannot overlook stress.

• Stress causes reactions to be exaggerated

• Stress causes us to snap

• Stress wears us out

And here’s another area of your dog’s life that could be building stress that may surprise you.

3. Daycare or a dogwalker

A very perceptive reader sent me this query recently: “My question is, what do you think of daycare for dogs? Are the dogs actually happy about it, or do dog owners just like to imagine they are?”

Some dogs love daycare. And some people love holiday camps with group activities. I have to say that’s not my kind of holiday, and I would find it very hard to cope and not one bit enjoyable.

I am not going to tar all daycares and dogwalkers with the same brush. There are some excellent ones, with dedicated and knowledgeable owners and good staff education programs. But I will say that you'll have to do extensive research to find a convenient, local one that is truly a safe place for your anxious dog to learn and develop. 

Management skills

Think of the skills you need as a parent to prevent open warfare in your own household! Then picture a gang of dogs being thrown together for a walk - or all day in a confined area - in the care of people who may have no dog training or behaviour qualifications whatever. “I love dogs” may help, but it’s not a qualification. And given how long it takes us to learn how to care for our own species - and that a lot of what people think about dogs is wrong - you’re going to be lucky to find somewhere safe for your dog.

I was recently shown a promotional video for a daycare by someone who’s been sending her very reactive German Shepherd pup there for months. Even in this 30-second video - meant to show how wonderful the place was - I could see bullying and intimidation of this pup by other dogs, and no one going to her aid. Imagine what this sensitive puppy is subjected to for ten hours a day, five days a week! No wonder her reactivity is already extreme at only six months of age. What the owner thought as “being perfectly happy at daycare” was in fact a dog that spent all day trying to avoid the other dogs (quite impossible with those numbers of loose dogs) - shut down, in other words. Not fine at all.

For many dogs, daycare is viewed with the same suspicion I view that holiday camp!

Dogwalkers

If you have a good and responsible dogwalker, you are indeed fortunate! A dogwalker arrived at my regular walking spot recently. She opened her van doors and out flew five or six dogs. One planted his feet on my chest while the others hurtled around the roadside car park alarming other dogs before heading off on their walk. After 20 minutes she returned and drove away again. Would you be happy paying good money for that level of care every day?

My personal solution to an enforced absence from home is to have someone I trust to come in to let the dogs out in the garden and play with them for a while during the day. A “walk” is not needed.

If anything goes wrong in a daycare or with a dogwalker, you will be paying for that for years - possibly the rest of your dog’s life. You can spend time observing at a potential daycare. If they don’t like you quietly watching - move on. Think hard, and do a lot of homework, before handing your dog over.

Regardless of where you live, there will be fantastic, dedicated dogwalkers and daycare facilities that truly put the needs of the dogs in their care above all else. So seek out those above-and-beyond caretakers, and you and your dog will certainly reap the rewards!

Here are excerpt 1 and excerpt 2

Did you find this excerpt interesting? Here's what Book 3 looks like!

Or you can choose to get all three books at once, in paperback or ebook.

For a free e-course to help remove the stress from your life, and your dog’s life go to www.brilliantfamilydog.com/growly

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog, watch our free Masterclass for Growly Dogs

I’ve tried everything to change my dog …

I hear this loads!

◆           “I’ve tried everything …”

◆           “I tried this once and it didn’t work”

◆           “Nothing will change my dog.”

And I can tell you that you are mistaken. This should be music to your ears! There is a way forward, an end to your present frustration. Let’s have a look at these statements, one by one:

1. “I’ve tried everything …”

There are so many different methods in the world to train your dog - you can’t possibly have tried all of them! And there an awful lot you shouldn’t try at all, as they’ll actually make your dog worse. There are sadly, still many “dog trainers” and “dog behaviourists” who are - to put it bluntly - talking through their hats.

They dwell in a murky past where we are in control, and our dogs must do our bidding - or else. It’s the same mentality that used to beat children for naughtiness or “impure thoughts”. It’s been discredited for so long now, that I wonder which stone these people have been lurking under, that they have completely missed all the scientifically-backed discoveries about how our dogs’ minds actually work, and how we can get them to work in our favour.

You may have been misled by one of these people. It’s very hard for the “ordinary dog-owner in the street” to recognise them. And you went along with their suggestions, trying to do your best for your dog, only to discover that these actions made you feel sick, and made your dog worse into the bargain. Already afraid of the world, he’s now afraid of you - his only ally.

This comment from a student is something I see all too often:

“I never went back [to the class] but feel guilty to this day at having exposed him to that extreme and relentless intimidation, and not speaking up there and then.”

On the one hand it’s good because now this person has found a better way. But on the other hand it’s sad that they still feel guilty about it. I was able to reassure this person:

“We can only do our best with the information we have at the time. And you were doing your best. Sadly, those ideas are still prevalent in many places. So start from where you are. Don't worry about what went before.” 

This student is now enjoying working with her dog, not against him, and seeing real progress. “We love the games - so effective!”

Even if you work with trainers who genuinely espouse positive reinforcement, if you’re “trying everything”, it suggests that what you’re trying isn’t working! If you’re struggling with a dog who you can’t connect with, or who is overcome with fear or fury when out on a walk, then you need someone who has worked through all this already, and who can guide you through a structured program to achieve the change you desire.

Guess who?

Not got a Growly Dog, just a naughty one?

Check out our free Workshop on getting your dog to LISTEN!

2. “I tried this once and it didn’t work”

Can you guess what I’m going to say here?!

BABY STEPS! 👣 🐾

We didn’t learn Calculus in Kindergarten. We started by counting buttons. Only gradually did we get the results we now have in arithmetic (and yes, you can do sums, even if you don’t like them much!).

Learning a new process to work through with your dog is just the same. It’s not something you can try, inexpertly, once - then dismiss. You need to commit to making the effort your dog deserves. Only by working through the given steps and assessing your progress can you say whether something “worked” or not.

This is where the value of having a teacher working with you really scores! Just throwing information at someone is not going to help them get it. People hunt all over the internet without discernment or direction, ill-equipped to assess or judge the source of the information (see my point under no.1 above) - of course they end up confused! And this is why my books are filled with troubleshooting advice for individual dogs, and my courses have a strong element of personal coaching to help you interpret and get the best out of the lessons.

You need patience! Rome wasn’t built in a day! It’s the gradual accumulation of knowledge and experience that is the answer you seek.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson

3. “Nothing will change my dog”

This is possibly the saddest of all. Your dog is a living being! And like you, she can change.

I have seen “hopeless cases” become much-loved family pets. I have seen dogs about to be re-homed, puppies about to be returned to the breeder, who are still in their homes to this day, thanks to their owners making a last-ditch attempt to find answers.

I’m appalled when I hear of dogs being thrown out of training classes for being too disruptive, too difficult, too dog. This demonstrates not only a lack of ability on the part of the class trainer, but a complete absence of willingness to help someone and their troubled dog.

This I see as my mission in life! I have never turned a dog away from any class of mine, and I never will. As a church-going friend put it, “The church is for sinners, not for saints.”

So please don’t think that as you’ve tried things before that didn’t work; you tried something new - full of enthusiasm - only to find it let you down; that your dog cannot change. It simply means that up to now you haven’t found the help you need.

I would love to give you that help, and those of you with Growly Dogs may be excited to find what I have for you in just a few days’ time. Today is a new day!

And to get started straight away with lessons to help your Growly Dog cope with our world, watch our

free Masterclass for Growly Dogs