Dogs love the familiar

And by that, I don’t mean they love witch’s cats (though they may …)!

I mean that dogs love what they know. They love familiar walks, familiar houses, familiar foods, familiar people. To keep things familiar may mean restricting the size of their world. But the pay-off in terms of a relaxed dog can be well worth it.

Dogs love to know what’s happening next. This is why they make such great stock-herders. They know that when a ewe twitches her ear or looks away from the flock, she’s about to leg it! So the dog anticipates this movement and flies into action to thwart the sheepy escape plan.

You know the flurry of activity that ensues when you put on your coat or shoes and head towards the place where the leads are kept? Same thing.

Dogs are expert at stringing events together so that they immediately know that the first event in a series means that the rest is likely to follow. This anticipation can land the clever performance dog in trouble, when he tries to perform his whole dance or obedience routine at once!

BUT … the clever dog-owner uses this knowledge to his or her advantage!

Here I explain it in more detail, so you can come away from this free Masterclass Workshop working with a new skill

What does this mean for the family dog?

It means that you can set up your own series of events which you want your dog to follow.

Each thing you do is a predictor of the next thing - all culminating in something really good!

For instance, your sequence may be

1. Say dog’s name

2. Dog looks at you

3. Give dog a reward

If you teach this unwaveringly, you will guarantee an ever faster response from your dog to his name! You’re pleased, he’s pleased, happiness all round!

In the same way, if your sequence is

1. Say dog’s name

2. Dog looks at you

3. Ignore dog,

how long is it going to be before your dog stops bothering to look at you when you say his name? You are effectively teaching him that this particular sequence is not worth following. The inherent reward (be it a food treat or racing to cut off the sheep) is not there.

This is at the basis of everything I teach, and nowhere is it more important than with the Growly Dog.

So what does this mean for the Growly Dog?

Your Growly Dog (your reactive, shy, anxious, aggressive, dog) has set up a load of event sequences in his mind.

It may be that if you go for a walk he thinks he should be on edge because other dogs are going to appear in front of him. It happens every time, so it’s bound to happen again, in your dog’s mind. So he has to take the action he has found works to keep these dogs at a distance - bark and lunge and generally look ferocious.

It may be that when visitors come to the home things are not following the script. He feels he needs to act to keep these people out, because they don’t belong here.

And for some, the growliness is focussed on cars, or children, or cyclists.

Barking and lunging temporarily gives relief from the tensions and anxieties your dog is feeling. So it becomes his go-to response. This is now his sequence! So this is where we need to change things.

The very first thing is to remove the trigger entirely - the thing that kicks off the sequence in the first place. Once your dog can experience life without the upsetting thing at all, you can monkey with his sequence and change it so that the presence of another dog / visitor / cyclist actually predicts good things!

While you teach this, keep in mind that the familiar includes your local, regular walks. Save the outings to busy places and new territories for special occasions. The comfort of the familiar will help your dog relax.

There are many articles on this site that will get you started with this major change in your life. You can make that start here.

Better still, watch our free Masterclass and learn new strategies and techniques and start using them today!

Back to the Family Dog again

One of my favourite practices is to teach all my dogs matwork from very early on. They learn to lie on their mat whenever it appears, and relax.

Their sequence becomes

1. Mat appears

2. Lie on mat

3. Do nothing

Can you imagine how useful this is?! It translates easily to any other parking place you want to put your dog - a bed, a chair, a step - and your dog knows the sequence.

Puppies can learn this from a very early age like young Bailey here, on Week 3 of our Puppy training. And any dog can learn it fast.

You’ll wonder how you ever managed without this skill! The ultimate off-switch for your dog!

You’ll find the whole program laid out, step by predictive step in Calm Down!

How can I stop my dog’s aggression?

I frequently get this question. An owner gets in touch with me because their dog - who is wonderful at home with them and their family - behaves “aggressively” when seeing strange dogs or people. This could be when out and about, or with visitors to the home.

And the first thing I’ll ask them is what their dog is actually doing!

You see, I absolutely understand that when their dog appears aggressive, this brings up feelings in the owner of

• Confrontation

• Challenge

• Conflict

They fear their dog has turned nasty, and has to be restrained so that he can’t damage another dog or a person - with all the horrors that entails. Vets! 😢 Doctors!! 😳 Lawyers!!! 😱

So it’s natural that their dog’s actions should provoke a strong reaction in the owner!

But you need to look at what your dog is actually doing - something that you are labelling as “aggression” - when it’s most likely for another reason entirely.

Common reactions to something the dog sees can include

Growling

Backing off

Hiding

Grumbling

Staring

Moving forwards

Stiff body and legs

Hackles raised

Tail up

Barking

Lunging

Snapping

And people may think this will automatically lead to biting.

Well . . . in some cases it could. But normally, if whatever is upsetting the dog is removed - or the dog is removed from where he is upset - this is enough for everything to die down again.

So this is just aggression, right?

I can tell you that in most cases that I work with, the dog is not actually aggressive. What’s happening is that he is afraid.

Something has appeared that he can’t cope with, that he’s afraid will hurt him (it doesn’t matter if he’s right or wrong - this is his perception! It’s real enough to him!) so he fires out some warning shots in order to keep the dangerous thing away from him.

That’s why if you can keep the dangerous thing away from him in the first place, or remove him, he will have no need to take the law into his own hands and try to keep it away himself.

Compassion

So instead of trying to STOP what you perceive as aggression, look at it with compassion and work out what the cause of this usually noisy display is.

Instead of trying to stop this by yanking the lead, shouting, nagging, dragging your dog away, trying a new gadget to physically hurt him (I include the misuse of headcollars here, never mind real nasties like collars with spikes pressing into the neck, or any device using batteries), and all the other things I see people do - perhaps acting out of character because of their embarrassment . . . instead of focussing on STOPPING what you don’t like, look at how to teach what you DO like!

You’ll get some ideas of how to approach this mindset-shift in this article.

Understanding is half the battle. Once you’ve got the measure of WHY your dog is doing this, only then can you work out what you’d like him to do instead, then formulate a plan to teach him!

You see, dogs can’t exist in a vacuum. They can’t NOT do. Dogs are doers. So if you want to change what your dog is doing, you have to find him something else to do instead!

How?

Glad you asked!

Your first step is to watch our free Masterclass, and Learn the 3 Biggest Mistakes Growly Dog Owners make - and what to do instead!

You’ll find there some terrific strategies for making great changes with your Growly - reactive, anxious, shy, “aggressive” - Dog, changes which will last.

You can ask your personal questions in the chatbox, and start looking at a new way to work with your Growly Dog to effect a happy life for both of you.

You may not like your dog’s actions - but you can be sure that he doesn’t like them either! Let’s get started on changing them . . .

Start the change with your reactive, anxious, aggressive - Growly - dog with our free Masterclass packed with ideas and strategies, all force-free

Celebrate your Dog while you still have her

This article was first published at Medium.com

Many people are shattered by the loss of their dog. People reveal the depth of their feelings and their desolation at the sudden absence of their friend. The strength of these feelings can come as a bit of a surprise.

Our dogs creep up on us. Too late we realise how far they have tunnelled into our lives, our beds, our hearts, our souls.

As with any loss there can be feelings of regret: all those times I was too lazy to play with her; when she made do with scraps because I’d forgotten to prepare her food; when she missed out on a walk because it was raining; when I came home exhausted from my fulfilling day to my lonely dog — and then was too tired to give her a little of my time.

Let’s see how we can change this, with a truer understanding of how our dogs’ minds work! Get our free email course here.

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Your dog commits totally to you. And in return we can take her for granted.

But She’s Just a Dog

I think that we often underestimate our dog’s intelligence and ability to reason. It’s very easy to bark commands at her and expect her to know what on earth it is that we want.

But how often are our expectations of what we want her to do unmatched by time spent on teaching her those things? We expect her to arrive with human-world behaviour installed, or to learn it by osmosis.

How unfair we can be!

It’s a truism that a trained dog is a happy dog. But it’s also the case that an untrained dog is a very confused dog.

How hard it can be for our dogs to continually try to guess what will please us; guess what will annoy or frustrate us and cause our displeasure — which hurts them so much!

She doesn’t have the whole world to love — she just has you.

I insure against some of the pain of the loss of a dog by having plenty of them! I usually have three or four and am always planning the next puppy. If I could have only one dog, I’d be thinking ahead to the next one. I couldn’t live without that joy and beauty in the household for long.

And the more dogs who spend their lives with me, the more I can see how totally individual and different they are.

Your Dog is a Teacher as well as a Learner

We can teach our happy-go-lucky, outgoing, everybody’s-my-friend dog some calmness and moderation, and we can encourage our shy, diffident dog to venture forth and gain confidence, but the dog’s character will remain.

Through years of living with several dogs at a time, my takeaways are:

• Your appearance does not matter. Sometimes it’s puzzling if someone takes against you because of the colour of your hair or the length of your nose. But that’s their problem. Your dog is not going to change his hair colour for anyone. Neither should you.

• Other people’s opinion is not of much interest. If you want to roll in the muck and they don’t understand, that’s their loss. Be proud of who you are.

• Take every opportunity to rest and regroup.

• If someone encroaches on your personal or psychological space, just move away. Dogs are in the main all for a quiet life.

• Enjoy every moment and live in the present. It doesn’t matter if you’re cold and wet later — leap in the pond now!

• Never tire of telling your special people that you love them.

They don’t live long enough — that’s for sure!

Yet they give so much.

Let’s give our dogs our time and attention now, in the few short years they’re with us. If we build our relationship to the fullest, we won’t be astonished by the gap they leave when they die, nor be filled with regrets at having failed them.

Is your dog throwing up more challenges than you anticipated? Watch our free Masterclass and find how to change things fast!

 

How our Growly Dogs are thriving in Lockdown!

In this time of social distancing and self-isolation, we need more than ever to keep in touch with our special people - our families and friends, and those with similar interests who understand us.

There are many good things coming out of this crisis (there always are good things. But if you watch the news all the time you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s all gloom and doom! That’s how they operate.)

There are people who are moving forward boldly to cope with the new life that we are experiencing. And there are those who are bemoaning the loss of their “normal life” and sitting on their hands waiting for it to come back. I fear they will be sadly disappointed.

Think of the clothing manufacturers who have switched from fashion or overcoats and are now making hospital protective clothing. Not only are they saving their businesses, but they’re doing something genuinely useful at the same time!

I was impressed to hear of the manager of a company which makes domestic washers and driers. They have immediately switched their production to making mobile washbasin cabinets for hospitals. This is a great example of the manager NOT panicking, but thinking on his feet how best he could serve at this time, while protecting his staff and his business.

The ability to “pivot” when you find yourself in a cul-de-sac is what differentiates those who struggle from those who make the best of things.

The internet was made for a time like this! And companies who can offer online conferencing - the ideal way to keep personal contact as well as distanced working - have seen a 20-fold increase in their business in the last month.

In my own space, many dog trainers who have been forced to shut down the dog training schools they have spent years building up have turned their hand to making themselves available to their clients in other ways.

There are online businesses who are offering free programs to help people now, and sadly there are those that are capitalising on the crisis in order to make a lot of money. Of course people must keep their businesses afloat, but it’s important to honour your integrity and act according to your values. 

What’s this got to do with dog training?

A lot! The only life we know is the one we are living right now. And that’s the life we need to make the best of.

So instead of regretting what we don’t have - let’s look at what we do have!

Here are some thoughts from students in my Growly Program on how they are making the best of this enforced change. I love to see that they are taking a proactive approach, and managing their mindset in this challenging time:

C kicked off with this report.

“We’re progressing nicely here with our mini garden agility course, sniff games, and all the other things you’ve kindly recommended. It’s so much fun!!” 

K told us that having a growly, reactive dog used to make her feel lonely and inadequate.

“Especially during this time of lockdown, isolation and uncertainty, the camaraderie and understanding of the community of other students is invaluable.”

J pointed out that there’s a silver lining for those under Lockdown: the quieter roads and areas reachable on foot are ideal at the moment for training a Growly Dog!  

“In this particular, peculiar and difficult time, for those able to do so, getting started over the next few weeks and months to training a dog whose habits are difficult to live with, would be wise use of this time.”

T was talking about a breakthrough she had in the program in realising that the control we try to exert on everything in our lives - from our surroundings, to other people, and to our dogs - actually works against us! She put it very succinctly when she observed:

“You know when someone else always drives you to a certain destination, then, when it’s time for you to drive yourself you don't know how to get there. That's what Paisley's walks have been like her whole life - me, always driving her where I wanted her to go without allowing her the time she needed to take it all in. How eye-opening for both of us!”

And M, who’s always full of ideas, added that there are so many things we can choose to do safely during this time for ourselves and our dogs: we can choose new activities or rest when needed.

“We have control of what we choose to do, then have a choice to analyze the outcome, and change things if needed.

We don’t need to be stuck in our lizard brain (survival - fight or flight), but stay more in our thinking brain: this is exactly the time to make changes that will have a lasting impact on the rest of your life with your dog.”

In a plumbing emergency, trying to mop up the flood and rescue her home, L noticed her dog dozing peacefully amidst the chaos. She adopted a new thought: Be like Annie!

“I need to maintain perspective with the water, the pandemic, and everything else rather than allowing them to dictate how I think, feel and behave.”

There is no situation so bad that we can’t make it worse by over-reacting to it. Chris Hadfield, astronaut

Inspiration!

Do those comments inspire you? I hope so, as they show a firm grasp of how we need to think - at any time, but especially now - to get the best from this one exciting life of ours!

I’m proud to have helped these students, not only with the Growly Dog problems that they arrived with, but to change their mindset in order to change their experience of the world.

It really isn’t just a question of changing your dog (or other people, or the world). It’s about changing us!

For more thoughts about changing our thoughts to change our lives

Join our Free Masterclass here

Distancing - for dogs and us

We’re beginning to feel like our reactive dogs!

We feel beleaguered, trapped, attacked.

We’re learning to be afraid of other people …

Well, let’s keep things in proportion. We’re not afraid of other people per se, but of coming into close contact with them.

Personal space

Dogs are ahead of us here, because the dog’s personal space is so much larger than ours. Our natural comfortable distance is a metre or so away from the person we’re talking to, if we don’t know them well. There are global variations on this distance, of course - different cultures have different social norms.

And our own natural feelings have to some extent been over-ridden by what we have to put up with on a normal day. Think rush hour public transport!

There are many upsides in this crisis, and not having to squash into a bus or tube train at rush hour has got to be up there near the top!

So keeping two metres away from people entails making an effort and keeping it in your mind the whole time.

Help from your Growly Dog!

And here’s where your Growly Dog can help you: she is all too keen to keep her distance from other dogs and people - and maybe bikes, toddlers, and cars as well.

So work together on this, and keep your distance too!

Having a small understanding of how she views the world - as a dangerous, threat-filled, place - could make all the difference to how you protect her.

This is why I’ve made a free Masterclass for you: so that you can learn so much to help your dog!

Time off

Many of us are in enforced isolation right now. And this is just heaven for your Growly fella! One of the first things I ask new Growly Dog students to do is to give their dog a “cortisol holiday” - a complete break from all the things that terrify him on a daily basis, to allow the hormone levels to stabilise.

Usually five days of home confinement makes a considerable difference to the anxious, reactive, dog. A noticeable difference.

Now is an ideal opportunity to give your anxious dog that break. And while you find new ways to exercise and amuse him in the home, you can detach yourself from all these worries and anxieties too.

While you’re at home you don’t have to remember to avoid people. You don’t have to view others with fear. You can switch off the things that worry you (yes, I mean the constant news updates, social media, alarmists in general) and enjoy some peace with your now-calmer dog.

Teach him some tricks!

Teach him to fetch!

Have some fun!

I know that many of you with Growly Dogs suffer from feelings of isolation. But right now you’re exactly where you need to be!

I am sure that another upside from this crisis is that people have a space in which to reflect and look at their own life critically.

Instead of being bundled along in the daily grind, holding everything together - working hard not to drop a ball - many people are stepping off their treadmill for the first time in years!

So this is a wonderful opportunity to reassess exactly where you are in life:

• Is it exactly where you want to be?

•  Are there changes you’d love to make?

• What’s stopping you making those changes over the next few months?

Here’s a little exercise for you:

1. Write down the top three values you want to live your life by

   (e.g. adventure, integrity, connection, spirituality, nature, joy . . .)

2. Beside each of your three, write down how far you are now living your life by them. You can use a scale of 1-10 if that helps, with 1 being not at all, and 10 being totally.

3. Now look at what you’ve written!

Is this how you want it to be?

• Yes: fantastic!

• No: what are you going to do to change things?

Comment below or email me and tell me how this went for you!

Want to know how to start the change with your dog?

Join our free masterclass

See how calm your dog is?

Look at your dog.

Is he worrying about rampant viruses? Or is he just contentedly being a dog? Is he getting anxious about what just may happen in the future, or is he happy with where he is right now?

We can learn from our pets. For a start we can enjoy their world-view and consequent feelings of normality and continuity.

And we can observe that worrying about things changes nothing!

For more harmony with your dog, get our free email course!

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Security and safety

We all need a sense of security (as Maslow defined in his Hierarchy of Needs), and the panic and fears being whipped up by some parts of the media and social media are counter-productive!

Continually being in an anxious state lowers your immunity and maintains damaging stress.

Choose one or maybe two news sources that you trust, and check them just once a day. You do not need minute-by-minute reports and all the speculation and catastrophising that goes with them.

When you are talking, ask yourself “Am I making the situation better or worse?” 

We all need a sense of belonging, and isolation measures can make us feel alone and vulnerable.

Self-sufficiency

I’m no epidemiologist, but I have seen isolation work. When the UK slaughtered millions of farm animals in the last Foot and Mouth outbreak, Ireland was barely touched. Because it is largely a rural economy, there was a united effort from the whole country - instantly - to comply with the sweeping measures brought in to prevent the spread of the disease. The result was that only a couple of flocks in one area were affected. Ireland escaped Foot and Mouth virtually unscathed.

Once we have our safety and belonging needs sorted - by reframing them as virtues not calamities - we can look to being the best version of ourselves.

We manifest into our lives the things we most desire and the things we most fear. (This is physics, not woo-woo - ask Einstein …) Where is your focus?

These things will pass! Do what is recommended by your authorities, look at the upside of isolation (there’s always an upside to everything!)

.. and enjoy some quality time with your soothing, carefree, dog.

Your dog is not so soothing and carefree?
Get our free course here to help you change everything!

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